You're Nuts!

He who can sew up a scrotum wins the prize. I took home the Best Costume award for my elephantitis costume. The costume was especially fun once I was drunk and "tea bagging" everyone. Anyone is welcome to borrow my ball sack costume anytime.

Elephantitus

As most of you know I can sew. I made my halloween costume. I'm going as the disease Elephantitus. Which we all know is severe swelling of the testes.

The Future

The ancient greeks had an interesting perspective when it came to time. They saw the future as something that is creeping up from behind with the past receding before their eyes. When you sit and think about it, that's a more accurate metaphor than our present one. Who really can face the future? All you can do is project from the past, even when the past shows that such projections are often wrong. Tommorrow I shall try to get a job, wish me luck.

Back to my Handsome self

Modern dentistry has come through for me yet again. If it weren't for advances in dentistry over the last twenty years I would have no teeth at all. Fifteen years ago I knocked out a tooth falling off a bicycle. Ten years ago my lower front teeth were pushed up and back during a youthful baseball game. Countless chipped teeth through out the years and the most recent came as a result of a long board ride. Never the less I'm still the handsome man that god made me to be. Kudos to you Dr. Grower, kudos.

Safety First

Be careful on longboards!!!


I chipped my tooth, destroyed my hand, and seriously thought I broke my leg. I guess the steepest hill isn't always the best.

The joy in surprising others

Today I was sitting on my futon when suddenly there was a rap on the door. I thought to myself "who could it be" as I walk to the door hesitantly as to the expected Mormon or girl scout I was delighted to see a UPS guy standing tall in his brown little get-up. I opened the door expecting a scented candle my mother may have ordered but was perplexed as the long box was stamped with my own name. "I didn't order anything" I thought. My girlfriend surprised me with a brand new longboard, hand crafted from the boys at Bustin Boards www.bustinboards.com out in hobuckon NJ. Arguably the best longboard on the market. I Love my KT Way-T.

False-Micro Test

Most people around me know that I enjoy microbrews to the point of obsession (Alcoholism). I want to say that if I should say something about beer and all-things-related I'm not bullshiting you. The Reinheitsgebot of 1516 is real, very real.

Here's a rule of thumb I'd like to share with all of you in case you want a microbrew and you're at a grocery store or liquor store. If the six pack box has a map to a brewery on the bottom it's no bullshit, the beer is microbrew, if you don't see a map don't trust it unless you know it.

Look

I got a hundred bucks if you can spot a hair on this mans head. Kinda freaks me out. He was the bartender at the Moosejaw.

Today

Today Boo Boo Bear is experiencing a bout of diarrhea. As he frantically searches the backyard for a suitable spot I .... I post my resume on monster.com hoping for one day to earn money for someone else while receiving nominal compensation for my time.

golf

I recently went on a little golf trip with a friend. We went to the Wilderness Resort, in Wisconsin. I played a decent round of golf, landing it on the green two times, avoided all sand traps, put one in the water once. The course was set in a mountainous area with cool veiws and several cool far-off-a-cliff kind of shots. Also I got wasted at a local microbrewery called Moosejaw. How would I (being a beer expert) rate their beer? I had the "Kilborn hop ale" a pale ale, it tasted like a pale ale should only a little faint. I tried some other beers they had, a honey lager that tasted like water, an oktoberfest that had a strong malt taste. Also they had a oatmeal stout that they called a Milk Stout, I didn't try it, I should have though. The stout is a conerstone of a microbrewery. All in all, if you are in the Dells go there for a couple beers it's pretty decent for what you might expect in Wisconsin and the food is excellent. We had the pizza (A+).

vitamin

I take vitamins. I got in the habit back in high school and have taken vitamins consistently ever since. I don't take centrum vitamins, those are garbage. But here's the point, it's a habit and if I forget or run out I feel like I'm being unhealthy and I feel guilty. At the same time I worry that taking vitamins will cause me to live a long time and in effect they will force me to watch everyone I know and love die. Leaving me all alone in some nursing home shitting all over myself getting no respect. WTF.

classic favorite

Today I've fallen back on a favorite, with advice from my bro, it's extra soupy. I love soupy mac n' cheese. I wonder if I'm really having Irish mac n cheese?

I spent two hours in Ireland yesterday.

I have a hobby, it's nothing new but its fun, I love to laugh at cultural and social bullshit. A favorite is the Irish pub or restaurant. There has to be more Irish bars in American cities than in the whole country of Ireland. I wonder if all the Irish pubs in Ireland are owned mostly by Greek people? Here's the formula; get some nice dark wood on the walls, paint everything green and BOOM!! it's an Irish pub. My favorite of all is Bennigans, the same wood and green formula applied to a Denny's. Yesterday I was brought to a Irish restaurant in alington heights and I had a "Cajun fish sandwich" and "Irish fries". Now I'm partial to "freedom fries" but I'll try them, they were sliced up potato that was deep fried, I failed to see where Ireland came in. The sandwich was a spicy Cajun fish sandwich, I guess Ireland could have cajun food too. It's so silly, like an adult chucky cheese, "lets pretend we're in Ireland" and "those aren't fries those are Irish fries, stupid head".