The day was friday, it was many moons ago, when I arrived home from work around 4:30 as I did everyday. Walking into the house I was shocked at how clean the house had gotten since I had left that morning. It was so clean you could've invited my Grandmother over with complete confidence. I'm greeted by Nick in his nicest shirt, showered and shaved. "To what the occasion Nick" I ask? "This girl from work is coming over and we're going out for Mexican Food". He is clearly nervous as he is pacing the house and watching the front window like a puppy waits for the mailman. A light bulb in my head turns on and I begin, quietly and discreetly, looking around for that gigantic Vaseline Intensive Care pump bottle of hand lotion that lives in the back corner of the linen closet. I find it along with a hand full of McDonalds napkins in the crumpled up bag in the small bin next to the fireplace. I sneak into his room like a Navy fuckin' Seal. The lotion bottle is cleverly placed on his night stand along with the napkins. I take a brief moment to crumple up a couple napkins for effect and leave them in front of the bottle. Fifteen minutes to half an hour pass and suddenly heard throughout the house is the guttural yell of Nick "Peeeeeeete"!
